nablopomo fail. reverb10 (and 2011) win?

November 30, 2010 at 10:20 am | Posted in NaBloPoMo, Thoughts | Leave a comment

nablopomo started off bad. i was what, five days late? but i gave it a solid effort. and i kinda like this attempting to post every day thing, even if i’m just posting the mundane details of my mundane life. it makes me think about a lot of things and i’ll be able to look back on these posts and see how i spent a lot of november 2010.

which is why i decided to participate in reverb10. “Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead.” basically, they will post prompts every day for participants to write about which will help them to reflect on their 2010. i’m really looking forward to this. 2010 has been a pretty good year when all is said and done. there were highs and lows but the highs were pretty high and the lows weren’t really that low (*knock on wood*). i hope this trend continues into 2011. some main things that i want to be different about 2011:

– i want to allow myself to be happy. every time i give this a shot, something happens and sends me into one of those low lows i mentioned before. when things are going well, i’m always on the edge of my seat waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the rug to be pulled out from under me. on one hand, i’m half-prepared for the worst at all times. on the other hand, i don’t allow myself to enjoy when things are going well. hopefully, this new frame of mind will produce a different outcome. i admit it. i’m pretty happy right now and i’d like it to stay that way. i really hope i didn’t just jinx myself…
– i’m going to save more money than i spend. i recently started a savings account and i already have a decent amount in it. i know, i’m 29 years old and i’m just now starting a savings account? believe me, i’m with ya. but up until recently, i didn’t think i made enough to save anything. boy, was i wrong! with the new car (read: new car payments), it forced me to go over my finances and kind of create a mental budget. it made me realize that i spend money on really dumb shit. i’m no longer buying my lunch at work, i’m not going out as much as i used to and even though i’m putting a decent chunk of my paycheck into a different account so it’s out of sight and out of mind, i still have more money left over than i did before i was saving. wtf?
– i’m not going to the camo party in june. we’ll leave it at that.
– i’m going to be more proactive and make things happen. i’ve honestly kinda coasted through life, all but giving up when things seemed difficult. not in all situations but definitely during the really hard times. this is changing. how can you expect things to change if you aren’t willing to put the effort into changing them? well, i’m putting in more effort than i have in the past from now on. i’m crossing things off of that life list that i’ve created. i’m going to make things happen, however small or large those things may be.

just wait and see…

(and btw, i changed my mind about the fuggs. what was i thinking? we’ll call it a brief moment of insanity.)


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